Making a friend or is she more
by shelovesyou2
Summary: Will Olivia and Amanda survive after realising they have feelings for each other? Or will their friendship end? What lengths will they go to, to protect the other? Stay tuned to find out!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf.

**Chapter 1**

Early one morning, the rain pours outside gashing against the window panes and suddenly Olivia wakes hearing the sound of what she thought was a gun shot but to her surprise it was the thunder, slowly the noise faded. She laid in bed staring at her ceiling, her 4 bland walls in which she realised she hated being alone. Waking up alone, having no one to come home to, no one to cuddle, no one to love. She glanced down at her alarm clock that sat on her bedside table noticing it was 6.38 in the morning. She had to be at work by 8. Olivia jumps up out of bed and in to the shower all the while thinking to herself _another day at work and another victim_ She wondered if _maybe things would be different today, would she meet someone, anyone, a friend, a possible lover. _Ready for work, she grabs her leather jacket, keys, badge and gun and heads to the precinct.

As she walks in to the precinct she notices the looks on everyones faces, almost as if they were disappointed she walked in. She ignores the looks and continues, head held high and says "Morning guys"

Fin immediately looks down at his desk and whispers "Morning Liv"

Benson, Fin, Munch and Amaro are working on paperwork as Captain Cragen walks in with the beautiful blonde girl and almost yells "Morning guys, i have someone i want you to meet"

All of the detectives are now looking at each other and out of the blue Liv says, do we have a new ADA? Where is Casey cap'n?

Cragen gives her a stern look as if to say shut it Liv but proceeds to say "NO this is the new addition to our team, Detective Amanda Rollins, i expect that you will show her how we do things here at SVU, Benson she will be with you"

"But Cap'n"

"No buts Olivia" Cragen replied "Now everybody get back to work"

Amanda looks at Olivia excited and says "oh my goodness, i have been studying your work for so long, i can't believe i'm here, going to be working with you, it's a dream come true"

Olivia sighs "Yeah ok"

Amanda looks up at her mentor and replies "what is that suppose to mean?"

"you studied my work, your dream was to meet and work with me" Olivia snaps "Why?"

"why not?" Amanda instantly snaps back "I read about you in the paper, studied your cases, your interrogation methods, everything"

Olivia sighs once again and doesn't believe the young lady but then suddenly Amanda starts rambling off different cases that Olivia had been involved in, differents methods of interrogation she used during those cases, dates, names but before Amanda could keep going Olivia looks up and says "I get it, you did study my work' and then continues to work.

Cragen walks out of his office, Olivia is the first to say "what we got Cap'n?"

Cragen sighs and replies "12 year old girl at mercy, raped and tortured for 20 hours – Liv and Rollins go see our vic – Fin and Amaro go to the crime scene" As he hands them a piece paper "here's the address"

"You got it Cap'n" they all say in unison

Heading to Mercy in total silence Olivia looks at Amanda and says "So, you wanted to work with me"

"Of course, who doesn't" Amanda replies with a big smile

In shock Olivia looks up and grins "well thank you"

"I don't know why you're thanking me, i should be thanking you" Amanda replies with here ear to ear smile still gracing her face.

Olivia feels some sort of butterflies, that nervous feeling. Unsure why though. As they head to the main desk, Olivia flashes her badge, "i'm Detective Benson and this is my partner Detective Rollins, there is a young girl that was raped and tortured"

"Right this way" the nurse says

"Hi Amber i'm Detective Benson and this is my partner Detective Rollins, do you mind if we ask you a few questions?"

Amber scared and hesitant but agrees

Now back down at the precinct Olivia sits at her desk to ponder the case they had all closed together. _Sick bastard, kidnapped, raped and tortured Amber repeatedly for 20 hours, no food, no water, she is exhausted but i'm glad we got the bastard_

"Liv? – Liv?" Fin yells

"yeah" she says still in her deep thoughts

"You ok Liv?"

"Oh yeah course, just thinking, that's all"

"Well we're gonna head out for a few drinks, you wanna come?" Fin asks

"Ummmm"

"You don't have to"

"Yes i need a beer after this case" Liv says with more anger than intended

At the bar Fin buys the first round, although the case was hard Liv couldn't stop thinking about how much Amanda looked up to her. Thinking back she realised maybe this was the day, maybe she had found someone, a friend, girlfriend maybe. She wasn't sure but she was happy and with that thought she decided it was time for her to go home.

"Ok guys, that's me" Olivia says standing from her chair

"Me too, thanks for the drinks – Liv wait up" Amanda says racing towards Olivia "Oh sorry i didn't ask, is it ok for me to call you Liv?"

Olivia laughed and replies "Of course"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf.

**Chapter 2**

25 minutes later Olivia is unlocking the door to her apartment replaying the events of the day in her mind over and over. A smile plays on her lips whilst thinking Amanda was cute, not only did she admire Olivia but she was upfront about it which is probably why Liv didn't believe her. _How can someone just ramble off dates, interrogation methods and cases like that _she thought.

She wakes the very next morning with that same smile on her face but she is unaware. Ready for work, grabbing her coffee and keys heading to the precinct.

As she walks in, for the first time in what seems like her whole career she is the last to arrive but that goofy smile still graces her face. Amanda notices first and says "Morning Liv, good night?"

Olivia looks puzzled "What are you talking about Rollins?" she shoots back, smile now turned into a slight frown. "Sorry I just mean your cheesy grin" Amanda replies as a blush creeps up her face.

_She did not just blush_ Olivia thought to herself

"Good Morning Liv" Fin and Nick say in unison

"ughhh Morning, can't say it's good anymore" she mumbles more to herself than to the guys.

She sighs heavily and plonks herself down into her chair not really wanting to be there anymore also oblivious that the blonde detective is still staring at her. She runs her hands through her hair and the blonde thinks that has to be the most beautiful thing.

Fin glance her way then walks over to her "babygirl you okay?" he whispers. She nods, turns to get up and walks out. Fin is left speechless as she has never walked away like that before but Amanda brings him out of his thoughts as she rushes past him to try and catch up to Olivia, just as she gets into the hall she hears the elevator ding and yells

"Liv wait up" Olivia ignores her and gets in, just as the doors are closing Amanda quickly slides in "Liv what's up?"

Olivia looks at the floor, "I don't want to talk about it" she snaps.

Amanda completely shocked just shakes her head "Did I say something wrong Olivia" she asks gently as not to startle or further frustrate the brunette.

Olivia takes a glance at Amanda as tears are stinging her eyes "No Rollins you didn't" with that said the elevator dings and she is out and gone.

Amanda heads back to her desk but all the time wondering what happened to Olivia that made her upset enough she wanted to cry.

Cragen steps out of his office "We got a case" The remaining detectives look up and Cragen sighs rubbing his temple "I need Liv back here, she'll want to be on this case" The detectives give him a curious look "We have a serial rapists targeting lesbian couples, our latest victims are at Mercy, Rollins call your partner. I want to tell her myself"

Rollins had already dialled Olivia's number

"Benson"

"Liv it's Amanda, cap wants you back here, we caught a case" Olivia sitting at a bar rubs her temple

"Okay I'll be there in 10"

In no time at all Olivia is walking back into the precinct "What we got cap?"

Cragen starts to blink back tears threatening to fall "Have a seat. As I said earlier we have a serial rapist targeting lesbian couples. Benson, Rollins get to mercy to see our vics. Fin, Amaro go checkout our crime scene. He is now staring at Olivia "Liv before you go you need to know who our victims are, can I have a minute?"

Olivia looks around puzzled but shakes her head "No you can tell us all together.

A tear now sliding down the captains cheek "Liv they are family. It's Alex and Casey"

Olivia now with tears streaming down her face, knees weak as she drops to floor screaming "no no no no"

Fin rushes to her side "Liv, babygirl we're gonna get this bastard" Olivia now sobbing into his shoulder nods against him.

Nick looks to Amanda and back to where Fin is comforting Olivia. Cragen notices and answers the unasked question "Alex and Casey are both former ADA's of ours"

He now looks to Olivia "Liv you gonna be okay? The others can handle this if you don't think you can

"No I have to do this, they're my best friends" With that Cragen nods "Okay get to work"

At the hospital Olivia flashes her badge "They've been waiting for you detective, right this way" Olivia nods and follows at the door she blinks back the tears threatening to fall again the door she gasps at the sight. "Lex? Case?" She rushes over to give them each a hug tears falling free now "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry"

Alex looks at Amanda still by the door and back to Olivia "Oh sorry, this is Detective Amanda Rollins, Rollins this is Alex Cabot and Casey Novak"

"Alex, Casey did you guys have a kit done" Amanda asks. They nod their reply in unison

"It's already been sent to Melinda's office" Alex says casually and Amanda nods

"Can you tell us what happened" Olivia asks. Alex looks to Casey as if to say you tell them

Casey clears her throat "We went out to dinner to celebrate our first anniversary Liv but I thought it would be nice to go to the club you took us to, the one we realised we had feelings for each other" Tears now streaming down her face, Casey continues We went, had a few drinks, danced and left. When we got outside Alex was hit over the head and I was punched in the stomach. He tied us both, taped our mouths opposite each other and made us watch while he took turns raping us both"

"Did you see what he looked like?"

"Not really Liv, he had a mask on" Olivia nodded "that's all I need right now, can I get you guys anything?"

"No thanks"

"We're gonna get this bastard" Alex sighs

Now back at the precinct Fin and Amaro had already arrested the guy and got a full confession.

Olivia heads up to the cribs just to lay down for a bit. Amanda watches and decides to follow, knocking gently on the door "Liv can I come in?" Olivia sits up

"Sure"

Amanda opens the door and joins Olivia sitting on the edge of the bunk "Liv it's been a hell of a day, are you sure you're okay?"

Olivia puts her head into her hands "yeah I'm okay" she whispers. Amanda stares but as Olivia looks up into blue eyes she finds herself getting lost and without thinking she leans in and presses her lips to Amanda's but before Amanda can deepen the kiss Olivia jumps "I'm sorry Amanda" With that said, she's out the door and gone.

Let me know what you guys think. R/R


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf.

Chapter 3

Alex and Casey's case hit Olivia pretty hard to the point that Cragen has ordered her off for the weekend but for right now the squad is all heading down to the local to have a few much needed drinks. Although she needs a drink she doesn't want to be anywhere near Amanda. That kiss in the cribs although very short clarified the one thing she was trying so desperately to deny. She was in love with Detective Amanda Rollins. She has had her heart broken twice now and she isn't sure she can handle another.

Walking in to the bar, the rest of the squad already there drinking. She immediately notices her 2 best friends at the table as well. Fin had invited them and no she wasn't thrilled. She feels her heart break all over again and heads straight for the bar ordering 5 shots and a beer. She downs the shot and sets to walk to the table beer in hand "Hey guys" "Hey Liv" they all say in unison. She catches a glimpse of Amanda staring at her with what looks like hurt in her eyes. Amanda quickly averted her gaze so Olivia couldn't see the tears threatening to fall. Within a matter of minutes Olivia is watching Amanda being lead to the dancefloor by some beautiful blonde all the while thinking _that should be me_

Olivia didn't care much for the table talk going on around her so she headed to the bar once again catching glances of Amanda grinding on this other women. Ordering and downing shot after shot, beer after beer. Amanda has this plan in her mind trying to make the brunette detective, yes it's working but it she doesn't see Olivia's heart break as she leans in to kiss this other women. Olivia caught the sight, now tipsy, tears streaming down her face like a waterfall stumbling towards the door ignoring the squad calling after her. As if something told her to Amanda rushes out to try catch up to the detective but to her surprise Olivia is no where in sight. Sighing and running her hands through her hair, she feels her heart drop at this instant. Hailing a cab and giving the driver Olivia's address.

Knocking gently but rendered completely speechless as Olivia opens her door in boy shorts and a tank top, "Rollins what are you doing here?"

She sighs "I need to talk to you Liv"

"Well Amanda I don't want to talk"

"Please Liv"

"No"

"Answer me 1 question, why were you crying when you saw me kiss that women?" Olivia walks back to her couch ignoring the question and grabbing the bottle of vodka and took a swig straight from the bottle "Liv, hey you don't need to drink like that" More tears falling down Olivia's face

"You see, I do" Olivia replies. Amanda feels her heart break for the other detective.

"Please talk to me Liv"

" I can't" she chokes out. As if instinctively Amanda moves to comfort the older detective wrapping her arms around her, Olivia moves into the embrace.

After the sobbing slowly fades she looks up completely shocked that she is in the embrace of the women she has fallen for but not even an hour ago she was grinding on and kissing someone else, with that thought Olivia forces herself up out of the embrace "Amanda please just go"

Amanda sat shocked but nonetheless "Liv please, let me help you"

"you can't Amanda, you can't help me"

Amanda sighs in defeat "Fine, call or text me if you need me" All Olivia could do was nod. As Amanda left her apartment she finally allows her tears to fall again hoping that sleep would finally consume her.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf.

Olivia's weekend off had mainly consisted of her in her thoughts, most of them consumed by a certain blonde detective

_The day she met Amanda she remembered that morning thinking to herself, maybe this was the day she would meet someone special and a month later looking back she knew it was true. Meeting Amanda that day she remembered thinking the blonde was gorgeous, clothes hugging her in all the right places and a smile that could light up the darkest of places._

_Switching to another memory, lunch at her favourite little Italian place near the precinct with the whole squad catching the looks Amanda was throwing her, looks of love, passion and desire. Smiles resembling the same._

_Switching again but to a not so happy memory, well a memory from just the night before. The night that shattered her heart almost as much as her ex-girlfriend. Seeing the blonde grinding on another women, kissing her passionately. Jealousy coursing through every bone in her body._

A smile playing at her lips as she once again see's Amanda's beautiful face going through her mind. She sighs running her hands through her hair as she thinks about how she has treated the blonde detective. She never meant to hurt Amanda or push her away but after Alex and Casey she wasn't sure her heart could handle another heartbreak. She knew she had feelings for Amanda, trying to deny them hoping they'd go away but natural fact was that only made them stronger. At this point she's thinking she may just be in love with the blonde. She knows she has to talk to Amanda

Walking in to the precinct slightly early on the Monday to try and dent the pile of paperwork she has stacked up on her desk. Olivia doesn't notice all the guys walking in but as soon as the faint smell of perfume she looks up to find Amanda walking in, she nods and smiles as if to say good morning, Amanda returns the smile. With that Olivia continues her paperwork.

Moments later Cragen walks out "What we got cap?" Olivia asks

"Three young girls at Mercy, doctor says they all have vaginal tearing but they won't talk. Benson, Rollins GO"

Olivia already on her feet on her way out the door with Amanda in tow "Got it"

At mercy hospital Olivia and Amanda interview the girls individually. Their English not great but Amber scared for her life talks, not only flips on the other girls but also the guy that has them locked up in a home making them work at night, having sex with his clients for money. Although making a lot of money, not a job for 13 – 15 year old girls. Walking out "What do you think Liv?"

Olivia shakes her head "this sick bastard is using these and other girls running a prostitution ring" Amanda nods and agrees.

Back at the precinct everyone working to figure out where this guy is running his prostitution ring from. Amanda looking at photos of the girls, where they were all found and searching nearby areas for rapes that have been reported hoping something will stand out to her.

Olivia receives a call "Benson"

"Olivia it's Melinda"

"What you got on the rape kit?"

"All have spermicide with the same DNA"

"one guy?" Olivia enquires.

Melinda sighs "No but the DNA matches, they are related though"

"Okay thanks Melinda"

Cragen walks out of his office "Liv, Amber had the nurse call, she's scared and says she wants to talk to you"

"On my way cap, you coming Rollins?" Amanda nods and follows Olivia.

An hour later they walk back in to the precinct with Amber as she reluctantly gave them the address of where she was staying prior to today. Olivia assured her that she would be safe, that she would protect her no matter what. With that said, Fin and Nick were already on their way back with the perp.

"Benson, Rollins you going in or you wanna let Fin and Nick take this one?" Cragen asks his two female detectives.

Olivia looks at Amanda as she nods "We got this cap"

"He nods "no funny business Olivia or I will pull you out"

"I got this cap" With that said she walks in to interrogation 1.

"So Shane, you raped those girls?"

"No I didn't"

Amanda laughs "that's funny because one of them named you, we are waiting for our ADA with a court order compelling you to provide DNA"

He glares at her "I didn't rape anyone" and stands up to pace then out of nowhere stops a few feet from Amanda, Olivia notices and the protective side of her kicks in, she steps in front of Amanda as he lifts his fist to swing at the blonde but connects with the wrong jaw. Amanda's jaw falls open as she can't believe what Olivia has done for her.

Amanda just as quick has Shane pinned against the wall off the ground "you bastard" she stated. With that Casey rushes in with the court order trying to defuse the situation before something worse happens. He reluctantly agrees to the DNA sample.

Melinda Warner now having the sample and running it, it matches 5 rapes but only 2 of their victims which means he has a relative still out there who raped the youngest girl. Dialing the brunette detectives number again

"Benson"

"Liv he matches Amber and Carly but not Joselyn"

"Thanks Melinda, that's great" Olivia turns around

"We've got the son of a bitch, that Melinda his DNA matches Amber and Carly but not Joselyn."

Casey knows this case is getting to Olivia "Well I'll arraign him on Wednesday Liv, and we'll keep going after the other guy" Olivia knows Casey can read her like a book and just nods.

Olivia really wants to talk to Amanda about how she feels but they just haven't had the time.

Wednesday at the arraignment went well, Shane was remanded to Rikers Island. Speedy trial announced and with that the trial date is set for the following Monday.

From Wednesday until Monday Amanda has seen how passionate and driven Olivia is to seek justice for their victims. How her tone changes gentle and caring when she talks to them and how in a matter of seconds she can change and turn into Badass Benson interrogating perps. She knows she is falling for the brunette but hasn't had a chance to tell her how she feels.

Monday morning – Trial begins

Casey and Trevor are done questioning the victims and detectives by Wednesday afternoon but as Olivia has stepped down from the bench she catches a glance at a guy staring intently at Amanda, she runs towards thee blonde yelling "Gun, everyone get down, AMAN-" bang bang bang three shots ring through the court room.

Officers have the man who looks like Shane handcuffed and against the wall. Thankfully Amanda wasn't shot, a scratch as she ducked and hit her head. Olivia on the other hand laying there breathing heavily, Amanda looks over at her "Liv, no no no no Liv" Amanda says taking her hand "Please stay with me, Please" Applying pressure to her abdomen wound not realising she has three wounds "NO, PLEASE OLIVIA STAY WITH ME" she yells.

Fin now by her side "Babygirl you're okay, Liv stay awake, please hang in there. A bus is on the way"

At hearing Fins voice Olivia opens her eyes with a somewhat smile "I love you Amanda, I'm in love with you" Now looking at Fin "Look after my girl kay" He nods. Turning back to Amanda tears streaming down her cheeks "I'm sorry" With that said her eyes fluttered closed. Olivia was losing blood and fast.

Now laying in Amanda's arms "I love you Olivia, please, please fight for me. I love you" she chokes out between sobs.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf.

Last time

_Casey and Trevor are done questioning the victims and detectives by Wednesday afternoon but as Olivia has stepped down from the bench she catches a glance at a guy staring intently at Amanda, she runs towards thee blonde yelling "Gun, everyone get down, AMAN-" bang bang bang three shots ring through the court room. _

_Officers have the man who looks like Shane handcuffed and against the wall. Thankfully Amanda wasn't shot, a scratch as she ducked and hit her head. Olivia on the other hand laying there breathing heavily, Amanda looks over at her "Liv, no no no no Liv" Amanda says taking her hand "Please stay with me, Please" Applying pressure to her abdomen wound not realising she has three wounds "NO, PLEASE OLIVIA STAY WITH ME" she yells. _

_Fin now by her side "Babygirl you're okay, Liv stay awake, please hang in there. A bus is on the way" _

_At hearing Fins voice Olivia opens her eyes with a somewhat smile "I love you Amanda, I'm in love with you" Now looking at Fin "Look after my girl kay" He nods. Turning back to Amanda tears streaming down her cheeks "I'm sorry" With that said her eyes fluttered closed. Olivia was losing blood and fast. _

_Now laying in Amanda's arms "I love you Olivia, please, please fight for me. I love you" she chokes out between sobs._

Olivia still lying lifeless in Amanda's arms as her tears have now turned into sobs "Please Olivia, you can't leave me now" Paramedics rushing through the court room, placing her on a stretcher and moving her quickly. Amanda rushing out after them jumping in the ambulance to ride without any arguments. She gently picks up Olivia's hand caressing it slowly sort of just letting the brunette know she's here.

Immediately at the hospital, they rush her in to the OR room "sorry mam you have to wait here" She nods and takes a seat in the lifeless waiting room. Within half an hour the whole squad is there

"Rollins what the hell happened in there?" Cragen called after her, anger evident in his voice

"I don't know cap, it happened so fast but she took the bullets meant for me" she choked out, a waterfall of tears streaming again "It's all my fault"

Sighing Cragen walks over and wraps his arms around her "It's not your fault Amanda, I have known Olivia for a long time, she's like a daughter to me, she would do it all over again for you"

She looks at him cautiously "I see how you look at each when you think no one else is looking Amanda, I know you love her" She nods against him

"I do love her cap but what if she doesn't make it, what if I waited too long to tell her how I feel, what if I never get a chance to tell her?" She asks her head now in her hands

"Olivia is the strongest women I know, if she loves you as much as I think she does she will fight if not for anything or anyone else she will fight for you" Tears now wracking Amanda's body. Feeling her shake and tremble Cragen whispers gently "she's gonna be fine Amanda"

12 hours later a doctor in scrubs with so much blood walks out "Family of Olivia Benson"

The whole squad and the previous two ADA's all stand "that's us" Amanda replies "how is she? Is she okay? Will she make it? Can we see her?"

The doctor sighs "Look I'm going to be honest with you, she arrested on the table due to the significant amount of blood loss, we almost didn't get her back"

Amanda gasps upon hearing this "But she's okay now right?"

"Well she is stable and we believe she is in a coma. Her wounds have caused extensive injuries but we will not know the full extent until she wakes up if she wakes up" Tears now falling down everyones faces

"What do you mean _IF_ she wakes up? Casey asks, her voice laced with pain

"She's lost so much blood, she's in a coma and we're just not sure that she will come out of this" Everyone nods knowing the doctors have done everything they can.

Amanda speaks up again "Can we see her?" her voice laced with pain. Reluctantly he nods. She looks around and they all nod as if to say you go.

Upon entering Olivia's room, she immediately plonks herself in the seat next to the bed, gently taking Olivia's hand in hers crying once again "Why Liv? Why did you have to do this?" asking as if by some miracle the blonde is going to answer her. Amanda slowly falls asleep still clutching Olivia's hand but is jolted awake to the sound of machines beeping, doctors and nurses running in and the faint voice of the doctor yelling out "she is coding, code blue" he yells "I need the crash cart in here NOW."

A nurse looks up at Amanda "excuse me mam" I'm going to have to ask you to have to wait outside" she nods walking out tears brimming in her eyes.

Alex and Casey heard the fuss and run to Amanda with Cragen on tow "What happened?" Alex asked angrily.

She shakes her head "I don't know, I woke up to the machines beeping and doctors yelling." Now standing in an awkward silence staring in to the room, nothing is working. The doctor looks at his watch "11.36pm call it" he says.

Amanda rushes back in "no no no no no no please you have to save her"

The doctor sighs heavily "I'm sorry we've done all that we can" Amanda can hear the continuous beep on the machine but she walks over to Olivia, picks up her hand with her left and caressing her now cold face with her right and leans in to place a gentle kiss to the other women's temple. Leaning in to her ear "Olivia don't you dare leave me like this, please you have to keep fighting. Fight for me Liv. I love you" With that said the machine starts to beep again rapidly as her heart rate picks up.

The doctors and nurses standing wide eyed but knowing the connection must be strong enough to will the detective to keep fighting. Amanda sits back in her seat talking to Olivia after the doctor checked her vitals. Amanda motions for Alex, Casey and Don to enter. They all sat there wondering what exactly Amanda said to make the detective keep fighting. Don had some idea but wasn't sure. He knew the detective was in love with Amanda but after Alex and then Casey had broken her heart he knew Olivia would be less trusting this time.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf

Amanda has only left the room for one thing, to go to the work and to eat. She works the morning shift and stay in the afternoon.

After a month of sitting beside Olivia's bedside, talking to her, professing her love to her Amanda is beginning to think the worse. Although Olivia has now been breathing on her own for 2 weeks she has shown no signs that she will be coming out of this coma soon if at all. Amanda has felt her heart break over and over since Olivia confessed her feelings towards her. She can't help but think of the times she's seen a look of hurt and pain in Olivia's eyes. "How can I not have seen those signs?" she whispers to herself.

Moments later she hears slight shuffling. Looking up she notices Olivia is starting to wake up. She rushes to her side "Liv, can you hear me?" Olivia groans but is now falling back to a comfortable sleep until a nightmare hits her

_"Gun, everybody get down. AMAN-" bang bang bang. Three shots ring out but in this nightmare she doesn't get to Amanda in time. Amanda lays lifeless in the court room_. "No no no no Amanda no no no, honey please stay with me" Olivia yells.

Immediately Amanda jolts up gently shaking Olivia trying desperately to wake the women. "Liv wake up, I'm right here, it's me Amanda" Olivia shakes uncontrollably "Olivia listen to my voice honey, it's me. I'm right here"

Olivia now slowly opens her eyes with tears now freely falling "Amanda is that really you?" she says leaning up to touch the blonde as if to prove that she's real

"Yeah Liv it's me" Olivia sighs then nods and turns away "Olivia honey what is it?" Olivia shakes her head not wanting to talk about it. She still thinks the blonde is in love with someone else.

Amanda grabs Olivia's hand kisses her temple "Liv you said some things when you were shot, I just want to know what this means for us?"

Olivia slowly turns to look at the blonde, slight smile playing at her lips "I love you Amanda, I'm in love with you. I've known for awhile but I couldn't tell you"

Amanda nods "Why Liv? Why couldn't you tell me?"

"Amanda please, it's hard enough facing rejection without the questions"

Amanda shakes her head in disbelief "You think I rejected you?"

Olivia turns her head trying to blink back tears once again "that women?"

The blonde gives a light chuckle "Liv? Liv please look at me. Olivia Benson look at me please" the blonde says but her voice breaks. Olivia notices and glances up into Amanda's beautiful blue eyes, seeing love, passion and desire "Liv I am so in love with you too. That night at the club, I was hurt, you kissed me and then you ran, wouldn't talk to me. I knew I was in love with you but how could I tell you when you wouldn't even look at me let alone talk to me. You rejected me once with that kiss, I couldn't handle you rejecting me a second time. I LOVE YOU Olivia Benson"

Olivia can hear and see the sincerity in her words but sighs anyway "Look Amanda I love you but I'm so messed up. You can do so much better than me"

"Liv I don't want anyone better, I just – I want you no one else"

Olivia now with happy tears in her eyes brings Amanda hands to her lips and lightly kisses them.

Amanda shivers at the touch of Olivia's lips but cups Olivia's cheek and asks huskily "Can I errrr – can I kiss you?" Olivia smiles widely and nods. Not hesitating Amanda leans in slowly and presses her lips to Olivia's. The second their lips meet Olivia melts into the kiss returns it with the exact same amount of passion and love but as the need for air becomes to great Olivia breaks the kiss

"So errrrmm are we – are we like together now? Can I call you my girl now? I mean are we dating?" Olivia asks hopefully Amanda only nods as she leans down to place another passionate kiss on Olivia's lips. With a light flick of her tongue Olivia deepens the kiss moaning quietly in satisfaction when she's granted access to explore the blondes mouth. The kiss becomes heated quickly as their tongues duel for dominance, needing more Amanda slightly shifts so she is now sitting in front of Olivia on the bed. Breaking the kiss once again "this is not where I wanted this kiss to happen" Olivia says and Amanda nods her agreement.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Disclaimer

I do not own any of these characters, that would be Dick Wolf.

**Two weeks later**

Finally the doctor says Olivia is healing well enough she can be discharged this morning but she still can't return to work for another two weeks.

Walking into her apartment with Amanda feels great so she thinks anyway. Amanda breaks down and finally allows her tears to fall. She's scared, her past is catching up with her. She loves Olivia but doesn't want them to hurt her. "Hey, Manda what's wrong honey?"

"Nothing" she spits back more hash than intended.

Olivia sighs "Manda, honey, sit, talk to me please"

Amanda turns on her heel to leave, calling over her shoulder "It's over Liv, I don't love you, leave me alone kay" with that said the apartment door is closed and Amanda is gone.

Olivia plonks down on her couch trying to figure out what just happened "why? What did I do wrong? Why can't I be loved?" she whispers into the air. She cries herself to sleep.

**Another two weeks later**

Olivia has been cleared for work but is a little reluctant to return, she and Amanda were only together for about two weeks and now they are over. Yes it was a long two weeks considering she wasn't able to do too much strenuous work until her wounds had fully healed. Olivia sighs and walks into the precinct, head held high showing that confidence she wears despite the nerve wrecking feeling she's feeling on the inside.

Nick pipes up "Welcome back Liv" he says as he hugs her "You've been missed"

"Thanks Nick, that means a lot"

Everyone has welcomed her back with a hug and sweet words, well except for Amanda. How exactly do you welcome back the person who means the most to you, the person whose heart you broke a matter of weeks ago. She couldn't and she wouldn't do that to Olivia. The heartbreak is written all over her face.

Amanda sighs and heads to the captains office and knocks

"Come in" she hears him call out

Amanda opens the door "Cap you have a minute?"

He looks up and furrows his brow "What can I do for you Amanda?"

She sighs and rubs the back of her neck "Uhhhh cap I-I want to uhhhh request a-a new partner?"

He looks at her disappointed "I don't know what's going on with you two but you better sort it out soon. I don't want my best detective and my new one to be going at each other's throats. Answer to your question yes I will put you with Fin and Olivia can go with Amaro"

Running her hands through her hair "Thanks cap, I appreciate it" She heads to the door with Cragen in tow.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" The detectives all look up to Cragen "Well we have some changes. Benson you will now be partnered with Amaro. Fin you will be with Rollins"

Olivia glares at Amanda but Amanda does nothing but sink into her seat more. A solo tear escaping her eye. She quickly wipes it so nobody notices.

"Oh and Olivia welcome back" Cragen says and he flashes her smile and heads back into his office.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N

Hey guys... I went through and changed this story a bit. Thanks to Livy32 for the constructive feedback. Let me know what you guys think about the changes and if it is constructed and written better. I love to read your reviews and pm's. Well let me know what you guys think


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